


Fourth Wall: Mashed Potato Edition

by kooili



Series: Meta [3]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Crack, F/F, Mashed Potato Ficathon, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kooili/pseuds/kooili
Summary: Bernie and Serena look through the fourth wall, to the land of the mashed potatoes.





	Fourth Wall: Mashed Potato Edition

“Have you seen this?” Serena called out to Bernie from the living room.

She scrolled down the screen, engrossed with the page she was reading. There was a soft clatter from the kitchen which sounded very much like dinner being prepared. Bernie had offered to make dinner, and preempted Serena’s offer to help with a cryptic smile and a suggestion to check her email instead. 

Serena had the mail app open before Bernie even left the room. It was a forwarded message from Bernie’s email. A quick click revealed a link to a website and Serena recognised the name as being vaguely familiar. She selected the highlighted text and the web browser opened to reveal a red banner splashed across the top of her screen, confirming her initial suspicion. She was about to call out to Bernie to ask why she had sent the link when the title text made her stop. 

_ What on earth is a ficathon?  _

The suffix suggested an endurance event of some kind but she was less familiar with the first syllable. Serena wracked her mind for possibilities. 

Fic.

Fogarty International Centre. Faisilabad Institute of Cardiology. Fully Immunised Child. Falkland Island Company.

No. None of it made any sense in relation to the rest of the title. 

Maybe it was the Food Institute of Canada. 

Her curiosity piqued but still none the wiser, she scrolled down the page and immediately saw that her name and Bernie’s featured predominantly throughout. Bernie had explained to her when they received the W.O.L.F handbook that it was their way of categorising the works since they were usually the main protagonists in these stories. It was some of the other names that made her pause through her scrolling. 

There seemed to be a propensity of men from both hers and Bernie’s past mentioned as characters important enough to tag. Serena clicked on the first story, intrigued. 

*****

“Dinner in fifteen minutes,” Bernie announced, poking her head through the adjoining door. She was about to retreat back into the kitchen when the look on Serena’s face made her stop. It was a mixture of delight, incredulity and apprehension, as if she was watching an inevitable train crash.

She wiped her hands on the tea towel slung over her shoulder and grinned. 

“I thought you might like it.” She crossed the living room, a smug look on her face before plopping herself down onto the sofa next to the brunette.

“Who would have thought there were that many ways to inflict humiliation on a fellow human?” Serena muttered, eyes still fixed on the screen.

“Not any human. Only ones with, shall we say, very distinct characteristics,” Bernie answered, a gleam in her eyes. 

Serena turned and regarded her wife. “Remind me never to cross you.” 

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Bernie leaned forward and gave her a light kiss. “You have to admit that they are rather good. And very creative. Lots of bruised body parts and egos.”

Serena nodded. “Oh yes. I wish I had thought of some of these myself for Edward and Robbie. Would have saved me a lot of grief  _ and  _ solicitors’ fees.” 

Bernie tilted her head in agreement. “I know what you mean.” She froze and broke up in a very undignified giggle. “I’ve just had a thought.” 

“What?” Serena regarded her curiously. 

“Marcus.” Bernie snorted and stuttered between loud honks of mirth. “Maybe he is God’s gift to women after all. As long as they’re lesbians.”

Serena stared at her for a moment before bursting out laughing.

“Oh, sweetheart. I agree.” Serena’s eyes softened a touch, “There were some home truths in all of this, mind and I do remember that it wasn’t all bad. In spite of it all, I have Elinor and you have Cam and Lottie.”

Bernie snaked an arm around Serena’s waist and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Yes. And there’s Jason, Greta and the bump.”

Serena smiled brightly at the thought of the imminent arrival of their grand niece or nephew. “Not to mention some relevant commentary on the state of current affairs.”

Bernie rolled her eyes. “Please don’t get me started on Brexit, sweetie. You know how I get when that toad in a lizard suit is mentioned.”

“Okay darling. Let’s just imagine he can be sucked into an alternate universe around a cat collar instead.”

They hummed in agreement and were about to pull into a tight snuggle when a loud beep broke the silence. 

Bernie sighed as she pulled herself upright. “I’d better go check on dinner before it burns.”

“Sounds like a plan. What are we having?”

“Beef olives, yorkshires, carrots, peas and…” Bernie paused, a huge grin stretching across her face. “Mashed potatoes.”


End file.
